Make it Transformational: A Blog for Champion Discipleship


Better Virtual Relationships

Dec 11, 2009

As I have dug deeper into virtual relationships, I have learned that there is a growing sector of people who are seeking out these virtual relationships in place of real life. There are people who have relationships with life-sized dolls of their favorite anime character, taking it on picnics, to movies, and on romantic dates. These people share a "relationship" with a faux animated character.

As I thought more about it, I became less convinced that virtual relationships are so bad. Real relationships can be so hard. They require time, effort, and commitment. These faux relationships require so much less. You can be late from work and not worry about offending your bride. These faux characters never complain, argue, don't talk during football overtime, and keep the kitchen stocked with chips for big games. These characters always meet y9our needs and never ask anything in return. How bad can that be?

These sound like donor/ministry relationships more than ever. Donors are meant to give, never complain, always support, and appear just when you need them. They are meant to give, and give, and give, and give...but never ask anything from the ministry in return.

For most ministries, donor relationships are nothing more than asking, receiving, and receipting a check. We never meet, see, or have any interaction with these people we call donors, but we love receiving their gifts. We don't really have a relationship; we just share a transaction with them. We have no more real of a relationship with them than people can have with virtual anime characters.

The whole idea of calling these transactions a "relationship" with a donor is a mystery. Just because someone sens a check does not mean you have a relationship. In Philippians 4, Paul describes a real relationship with supporters of his ministry:

Moreover, as you Philippians know, in the early days of your acquaintance with the gospel, when I set out from Macedonia, not one church shared with me in the matter of giving and receiving, except you only; for even when I was in Thessalonica, you sent me aid again and again when I was in need. Not that I am looking for a gift, but I am looking for what may be credited to your account.

Paul was more concerned with what would be credited to the Philippians' account in heaven than he was concerned with what would be credited to his account on earth. When we settle for a transactional relationship with a donor, we are not really concerned with their account in heaven.

Nearly every donor I speak with wants to hear God say, "Well done with your giving, good and faithful servant." These people are concerned that their giving does good on earth as it pleases God in heaven.

The real question we need to ask is how can we grow beyond transactional virtual-relationships with donors and engage them in ways that are meaningful to the donor, to the ministry, and to God? When you can answer that question, you have a solid foundation for a real relationship between donor and ministry that will lay up treasures in heaven for both parties--as it should be.

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